Today we called home to talk to our daughter, it was her first day back at school and we were keen to hear how the day unfolded for her. For me the day was hard, I had Endemologie at 9 am and for the first time I hurt a lot, more than I have ever felt pain, I was sick in my stomach and generally feeling unwell. I laid on the couch for most of the day with a short two hour nap in bed, I was sad on the inside and I really didn’t know why.
I guess today was the day I started thinking about whether or not I had done the right thing, I was only stage one and not up to stage two or three yet, I have been so incredibly lucky to have a wonderful husband that supports me and wanted to be more proactive about the condition rather than wait til it was worse. Still I know that the pain that I have been through is excruciating and for me right now I just don’t know.
I am not a medical expert but I am a woman and unfortunately we don’t seem to have a great deal of patience sometimes, but I am wondering will the swelling ever go down, I cant sleep on my sides which is how I normally sleep so sleep for me is almost non existent. I love my sleep and this whole process is really throwing my body and mind out.
I am incredibly jealous of the girls that reported no pain at all and that their recoveries have been a dream, I am tired and in so much pain! I am starting to see that everyone will react differently to the treatment also, ladies that are in the later stages have inflammation in their nervous system therefore almost making the pain non existent. I need to be kind on myself right now and realise that I just need to rest, I feel terrible though because I want to go out and explore this amazing country and talk with the other girls that are here, but I just cant do it!.